When Desserts Attack

True Crime: Rogue Butter Attacks

Law & Order: SBVU (Special Butter Victims Unit)

CSI : Butter Burns

Attack of the Angry Ingredient

I Shouldn’t Be Alive : Butter Boo-Boo

Let’s go back in time, to roughly a month back. Remember that marvel of a cake we made in May? Turns out the dessert gods are fickle. They don’t let you achieve transcendence without having to pay a certain price. And they demand their bounty in BLOOD.angry-god-13106479

So you know how the cheesecake crust was made of crushed cookies and butter? Apparently there was a certain overflow of butter, which dripped in the oven. No worries though, all dessert scientists know to prepare for such things, and our science oven had a drip tray. Thus the overflow went completely unnoticed.

It wasn’t until your trusted scientist tried using the oven again, that things turned ugly. The oven was preheating to a pleasant 225 degrees celsius, awaiting a frozen pizza. Suddenly, smoke. Confused as to why an empty oven might smoke, the first thing one might do is pull out and investigate any trays. Doesn’t sound like it would be such a hazardous manoeuvre, right? Having your oven above the kitchen counter instead of below might save space, but it does pose some challenges when you’re a little short (1.60 meters tall on a good day). And by that I mean that when pulling things out of the oven, you do it with your hands over your head, instead of bending down. And that is where you leave yourself open to attacks. One second you’re pulling a drip tray covered in boiling butter out of the oven, and then suddenly your exposed flesh has been seared by said butter.

Obviously, that hurt like a m**********r. But it wasn’t until 36 hours later that the scope of the injury became evident. Enjoy this collage of disgusting pictures of a nasty second-degree burn.

Give that picture in the top right a good look. To some, it may look like the Virgin Mary and the Baby Jesus.


A slightly potato-y Baby Jesus, but still. Or you know, maybe it just looks like someone holding a balloon. It could still be the Virgin Mary, we’ll let the Pope decide.


What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger; or it leaves a miracle on your boob/armpit/boobpit. Preach!

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